A Snag in My Life

So things haven't gone so smoothly in my life recently and I've been upset. Some of you might remember that I got hired for a really great STNA job last month. And at orientation their Nurse Practitioner had to give us a "physical". From what a couple people said that it was just bending and making sure that you have full range of motion. And also to go over any medications that you're taking. Well there was this itty bitty line to write that on, so obviously I had to write all my meds on the back of the paper. The Nurse Practitioner looked at my paper for not even ten seconds probably and told me that if it was up to her I wouldn't get hired. And if I wanted even a vague chance of to continue to attempt to get a job there, I had to go to all my doctors that are prescribing my medications and get a confirmation letter that they prescribed it. That's a lot of doctors guys, it took me weeks to get all those letters. 

Also because of my EDS, they required me to get a physical from my primary care doctor to say that I was fit for duty, and that I was going to dislocate something and sue them for it. I told them that I know how to relocate all my joints and that it wouldn't be a problem but obviously they didn't listen to me. I know they're just trying to cover themselves so no one sues them, but it would have been nice if someone had told me all this before I went to orientation. 

Though, when it came to my physical I had forgotten that my original PCP had gone to another hospital and that a different doctor had taken her place. I waited in an exam room for 45 minutes past my appointment time expecting her to come in, but I was a little upset when the new doctor came in. He came in, sat down and told me a couple things about himself and expected me to do the same. After that he told me that he had called my old doctor and asked her questions about my health, which I thought was really strange. He started saying that it was really odd that I had all my medical conditions. And I felt really warm and fuzzy when he said that I was the second person he's ever seen with EDS. 

We continued to talk about my conditions for a bit longer maybe ten minutes and asked me questions about how sick I was, and why I was on each individual medication. He then told me that he wasn't going to say I was fit for duty just because he didn't want to be sued by someone. That was his only logic in this whole thing. And he didn't even test my joints or anything he just sat there and stared at me like I was some sort of freakish little bug. And he said that he'd call my pain management doctor and one of my surgeons and see what they said. But he had advised me that I should probably pick a different career field.

 Honestly that man was so detached and emotionless that I would rather die than go and see him again, so I'm going to be on the market for a new PCP. Hopefully I'll find someone that's willing to take me. There aren't words to describe how rude and insensitive that man was. I'd have a better conversation with a brick wall probably.

His office called me later that week and told me that my pain management doctor vetoed me working as well. The office also told me I should call my surgeon and see what he says, but I didn't bother because I know he would've said no too. 

I called my Admin at the nursing home where I got the job and told him what was going on. He said that he would check in a couple other departments and see if they would take me, but that was a couple weeks ago and he hasn't called nor does he answer when I call him. I've probably been fired and no one bothered to tell me.

But hearing "I shouldn't be a nurse" For what I think is the third or fourth time has really hurt me. It has really crushed me, I don't think my self confidence has ever been so low in my life. I've slowly accepted that I'll probably never be a nurse because of my illnesses. I know I shouldn't let my illnesses get me down, but I think this time it's the truth. 

But I still have that burning need to be doing something in the medical field. So yesterday (2/23) I enrolled and started towards getting my Pharmacy Tech Degree. It's an all online, self paced program through Penn Foster. So far I like it and I'm hoping I can make it through the whole course. But because it's all online I can do my school work anywhere and I can conform school to my strange sleep schedule. So if I get stuck in the hospital or infusion center I can still do my work  (at least if I can stay awake anyway). I'm trying to be as positive as I can, but this has really taken a toll on me. But we'll see where this all goes, my current projected school work completion date is September 30th. Then after that I do my 120 hours of externship, then I sit for my boards.